I stand at one side of the gated entrance – the most interesting composition in that particular light – and peek up from my sketch pad at the church-goers passing before me in their cars after morning service. Some smile, others stare in bemusement (probably at my hat). ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

I sketch, car and foot traffic continues.

A family laden with flowers hunts out a gravestone, then huddles in clear grief at the sight of it. Within a few moments the initial reaction fades and they are snapping digital pictures of the large, white cross and themselves beside it as if it were the latest exciting addition to the Blackpool beach front.

Another car pulls up, parking just outside the gate. I see from the corner of my eye two figures peering in to the church grounds, then disappear behind the hedge heading for the entrance proper. Moments later they return, a cloud of expensive perfume leading the way. I sense they are heading straight for me.

“Can we borrow your pencil, we need to make a note of a number.” She asks with a tone that recommends I not refuse, and sporting an accent that suggests she can amply afford her cloud of perfume while still only purchasing it at the duty free en route to the twice annual vacation in Monaco.

Not one to be as rude as the person making such a request, I agree. Who knows, they may like the drawing and want to buy it: keep the punters happy (for now).

The husband appears. Marks & Spencer striped shirt and slacks. Interesting: not quite the available funds for a tailored shirt on a Sunday, so the Monaco trips are likely just to maintain the impression of wealth. He hands her a till receipt, the only piece of paper he can find, apparently.

“What’s the number?” She asks, poised to write while searching for something to rest on as she has only now realised I have given her a sturdy, metal mechanical pencil. The husband has forgotten the number, and heads off to find it again. She’s not entirely happy at the delay.

“Look at the state of this place. Isn’t it terrible that they don’t keep everything tidy.” (It was clearly no question.)

Me, having lost my only pencil, cannot simply continue to draw in an attempt to ignore the clearly irate woman. I look at the graveyard with its wispy long grass and wildflowers. In the morning sun it looks quite stunning. “I see a lot of graveyards like this.” I reply, being as non-committal to an opinion as possible.

“It’s disgusting. My mother’s buried over there,” she points to the rear of the church, “but with it looking like this I don’t think I want to go to see her grave. We have paid for a plot around the back there but I don’t think I want to be here now. We’ve come from a long way. My mother was married here, I was christened here. We telephoned to complain about the grounds before, they told us it was all to do with the butterflies. It’s in a terrible state. It used to be a lovely little church, quite unusual. Butterflies. They say they let the flowers grow for the butterflies. I think they just can’t be bothered.”

I am feeling the cloud of perfume, which has gratefully dissipated (not quite as expensive a product as it first appeared, perhaps), replaced with a cloud of agitated, middle-aged woman. My immediate reaction is to make it quite clear I am nothing to do with this church, just in case I become the target for a continued string of anger release. I should also note that I have not had the pencil returned to me as she clutches it still waiting the husband’s return from the telephone number quest.

She continues: “You are sketching [no shit, Sherlock] What will you do with that?”

“This is just a study for a larger, more finished piece.” I am tempted to say: Are you interested in a drawing of the church? I can make the grass look whatever height you prefer? But something warns me that even if I do manage a sale, she is never going to be satisfied and, frankly, at this point, the interruption to my concentration is threatening a sudden infliction of tourettes.

The husband returns, with the number. She makes a note of it on the receipt and finally returns the pencil (no thank you).

It is now his turn to rant: “We rung them up about this last time. They just don’t want to know.”

“We’re going to call them up again and complain.” She interjects. Why does she not simply pop into the church right then and speak to real people face-to-face? I wonder. “Thank you for the pencil.” OK, that’s a minor point in their favour at least. They turn and head back towards their car.

Just one pace, and the husband swings around to me once more, leaning in so as to stress whatever he is about to say, “They probably don’t have enough money. But they have plenty for the immigrants. Good day to you!” He barks then whirls to evade any response and marches to his car in the sure knowledge he has made his point and triumphed with the final word in an argument that that did not really exist outside his own head.

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I had forgotten the challenge of rendering short, fluffy cat fur in pencil!

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The latest batch of artworks are up on my flickr and artBlog. The most recent (above) is something of a departure from previous work there, and perhaps might surprise a few regular visitors. 

Before becoming wrapped in the world of the web, I earned some of my crust as an illustrator. Mostly for publishing but also other commissioned pieces such as pet portraits. I thought it was about time I revisited those subjects as an exercise in doing something a little different.

The above is the result, based on a randomly selected photograph on flickr. It was enjoyable to working like this again and I think I am going to do much more, and even take on new commissions.

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Our immediate impression was of a room filed with people who do not get out much. But what else might you expect of writers who are forced to spend endless hours shut in a room on their own? It was a fascinating to see the dress decisions some had made, some clearly eccentric, while others deliberately attempting to appear so. ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

Session 1: Macmillan New Writing

Will Atkins, editor at Macmillan New Writing, described how it was set up to publish first novels of previously unpublished writers. Clearly crafted as a means of minimising the publisher’s business risk when exposing the work of new writers – and who can blame them? – the relationships they create with writers are based on a standardised, fixed contract: no advance and the writer must sign-over world rights (see the second session notes for a Literary Agent’s advice on world rights).

Beside Will sat a success story, the recently published author Maggie Dana with her novel, Beachcombing. Her story was of many years struggling to have a novel published until Macmillan New Writing snapped her up. Something smacks here of the ideal signing for Macmillan New Writing is the writer desperate to become published regardless of the contract deal. I’m not suggesting Macmillan are exploiting new authors, but I suspect the actual opportunities for new authors are more limited than the name suggests.

Interestingly, Macmillan New Writing publishes novel across a diverse range of genre, including fantasy.

Conclusions:

1. Macmillan New Writing is not a potential submissions target for my project.
2. The non-negotiable contracts with writers seems a little exploitative
3. Macmillan New Writing seems genuinely interested in discovering and nurturing commercial fiction, but will seek that which provides a minimal financial risk to them

Session 2: Literary Agents

The two agents, Michael Alcock and Sarah Nundy, appeared to be terrified not of talking to the room, but of talking to a room packed with desperate authors, and the swarm of bodies heading for one-to-one conversations with the agents after the session looked much like zombies at the scent of fresh brains.

The information was useful, understanding the relationship between agents and authors, a slightly defensive explanation of why agents take so long to respond to submissions, and I finally understand how primary and secondary agents work together on negotiating international rights.

Interestingly, they advised never to sign global rights with a publisher for fiction books. I noted how this contradicted the requirement to sign such rights in the Macmillan New Writing relationship.

Conclusions:

1. Approach an agent in exactly the way they want you to approach them. Provide what they ask for and only what they ask for
2. Personality of the writer is very important as agent and writer will have a long relationship
3. Agents rarely give up on writers they believe in
4. Ian Rankin released 9 novels before he really took off – sometimes it takes time
5. Agents are a filtering mechanism for the larger publishers who do not accept direct submissions, particularly from new authors

Session 3: Other opportunities for writers and earning income

Oh dear… With a session focused on alternative ways for writers to earn money, I found it puzzling why the session featured Litro, a London short story magazine that offers writers exposure but no money, and a new social network promising to match writers with audience. The subject of money, even though specifically brought up twice during the Q&A, was skirted and dodged.

Eric Akoto of Litro magazine knew virtually nothing about additional opportunities for writers. Even when talking about his own magazine, the information was shallow and uninformative. The only real clarity came in the statement that short stories are a very difficult art to master. When asked to expand on a throwaway statement to earn money through blogging, he revealed he knows practically nothing about the subject other than writing some blogs. OK, thanks for that.

The representative of completelynovel.com did very little to convince those of us with solid online community experience that they have anything of value to offer other than another place to scatter one’s promotional efforts. But when describing how authors can improve their published work, by “… looking at other book covers and copying them [because] that’s what designers do…”.

Coming from a poorly visually and functionally designed site and brand that clearly has been put together purely by web developers with access to a cheap clip-art library and no real designer even remotely involved (if there was, they need, frankly, to be shot), the trivialising of the value of design is not surprising. It was around this point I tweeted: “Third session bullsh*t meter on overload”. The site and company are 3 months old, I doubt they will be around by the end of the year unless they stop engaging their audience with misinformation.

Conclusions: pay no attention to both speakers.

Session 4: Commissioning editors.

Peggy Vance, Commissioning Editor at Dorling Kindersley, was a thoroughly entertaining speaker, balancing what was more of a performance with imparting a far more thorough understanding of non-fiction author relationships with publishing houses. Most interesting was the comment that there are places that pay pay rates for authors of around £100 per 1000 words, is little different than a couple of decades ago (and that there are plenty of capable authors happy to work at such rates).

Jenny Parrot’s talk was very negative. The Commissioning Editor for Fiction at Little Brown Group riled at the poor quality of submissions coming from new British writers: “Americans work much harder on their books [than British] and it shows”, adding the number of British novels she currently signs is very much a minority as a direct result of the submission quality. The wave of silent grumbling around the room was almost tangible. Bordering on a rant about how much rubbish she is forced to wade through from British writers, the insight was enlightening.

Conclusions:

1. American writers work harder and longer at crafting their manuscripts before submitting to publishers – probably down to the stronger work ethic out there.
2. New British writers are submitting poor quality and unpolished books
3. Earnings for general non-fiction writing is low unless you are a spectacular, well-known figure in your area of expertise (think celebrity chefs, perhaps)
4. The opportunities to collaborate on a non-fiction title are broadening
5. Don’t be a pain in the butt for your commissioning editors or you will not get work

Session 5: Meet the authors

A session I selected purely because the other running simultaneously was a repeat of an earlier one I attended, turned out to be interesting and thoroughly entertaining. No major revelations from the three authors Nick Harkaway, Lucy Beresford and Simon Rae, but educational to hear the different paths each had taken to being published, and some of the motivations behind their writing.

The end

We skipped the final session on Children’s Books due to fatigue and only a partial interest in the subject, and headed home with a positive experience for what was a worthwhile day as a whole (though still fuming a little over the third session’s ignorant misinformation). In addition, we were able to pick up a copy of the 2010 edition of The Writer’s Handbook for a fiver!

Best line of the day? One author asked the Literary Agents about reaching agents outside the UK as she felt her book had more appeal to the Germans and Americans. “Just submit your work in the same way”, explained the Agent. “But how do I find where to get in touch with these agents?” came the question. Surely an odd question at an event organised by The Writer’s Handbook, the bulk of which consists of detailed listings of publishers and agents in the UK and the rest of the world. “Erm, in here” responded the perplexed Agent as he pointed out the distinctive yellow book that had sat front and centre on the table for all to see since the day began.

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The very reasonably priced day (just £30) appears to be packed with informative sessions tailored to the fledgeling writer. ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

Sessions cover specifics of the publishing business, talks from literary agents, and appearances by authors willing to share their personal experiences on the road to being published.

From my experience in the past I do have some reservations about how useful this will be. Now and then such events can be too dumbed-down for my taste. Fingers crossed there will be some valuable insights to help on the road ahead.

I’ve held off the next round of submitted query letters this week just in case I learn something here that will help.

A proper report on the day once it’s all over and suitably digested.

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I now follow a number of literary agents who use twitter, thanks to a recently distributed list. It has turned out to be quite an education. Amongst the personal messages and posts about the day, are sprinkled some real gems of information for the searching author. ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

Interesting tips, valuable insights, even the odd rant, help to build a slightly more colourful picture of an agent’s day to day life than one might discover in a reference book or a formal website. I have found it interesting and educational.

One would-be author (Chuck Weinblatt), decided the apparent accessibility of contacts via twitter could short-cut his path to having his book published. You can see a small sample of the many identical messages he sent to agents and publishers.

It’s not hard to research

Approaches to an agent or publisher must be handled with professionalism and, most of all, respect. Researching agents in particular is critical to ensure you are not offering them a type of book they simply do not handle.

It’s not difficult to do some basic research. The book 2009 Guide to Literary Agents provides ample information to select a number of agent or pubisher targets, propare and format an approach, and handle the process with dignity and professionalism.

On the other hand, there’s always the option of alienating an entire list of agents and publishers through ignorance of social media.

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Listen to this episode right here: Direct Download

MP expenses fracas
The MPs expenses fracas strengthens my resolve to avoid reading newspapers. Freedom of the press is fine until the media begins to deliberately attack and undermine individuals, in place of simply reporting the news. Once again we see the ogre of political motivation behind what should be simply the presentation of information

Persistent Spirit update
Waiting for the final installment of Table Rappers Persistent Spirit? Here’s a quick catch-up and some explanation as to why you are having to wait far longer than I ever anticipated.

A new video project
Could you be seeing me as well as listening in the near future? Possibly as I develop a new video show all around my creative passion for sketching and drawing. Something new, something different, and something I love doing. More info in this episode, and more still as the project develops over the coming weeks.

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I mentioned recently about switching tactics and approaching literary agents with an initial query letter rather than a package of letter, synopsis, and sample chapters (based on each agent’s preference).  ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

Some agents make it known that they will respond within a few days, to query letters. My experience so far has been just that. Two approaches (both returning negative), promoted responses within 72 hours. The first wanted to explore the idea a little further, while the other responded promptly with a pass.

Compare this to the 6-8 weeks of waiting for a response when sending a full package. 

Is a query letter enough?

I do not know any literary agents personally, and can only go by advice I have received from reputable sources, but it seems to me that if I am unable to hook someone in with a brief summary of the work, there’s no way they are going to spend even more time reading an mss.

For now, query letters – which are tough to write, I have to say – will be the way forward unless a particular agent explicitly requests more.

Perhaps if you really do have the next Pulitzer Prize novel, then a query letter might not do the piece justice. But really, as a writer, if I cannot write a letter that grabs an agent’s interest about a project within which lies my future, then I need to give up and go sweep the roads.

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I wrote recently about receiving rejections from literary agents. There is always a little disappointment to receive a negative response, after all, you are trying to gain a positive one. But I thankfully never feel it personally, or as a criticism of my idea or writing. ---- All rights reserved. nd.com Read on...

My initial approaches painted the complete picture of the Table Rappers project: it’s scope, plans for the future (seven books), details of the existing audio series, etc. But advice in the 2009 edition of Guide to Literary Agents, suggests a current negative reaction to multi-book proposals:

We’ve been seeing a lot more of these types of “series” presentations lately – the feeling being that the author needs to present a future “franchise” for the agent and publisher to get them more interested. In fact, it may send up a red flag about the author’s expectations.

I can see the logic in that thought. However much passion I have as creator of a series, if the first book doesn’t get a bite on its own merits, there’s never going to be a series.

I can understand why Agents, and publishers, are inundated with series proposals right now, with the successes of Harry Potter and Twilight for example.

When an agent reads about an author’s very first book, there is no way for them to measure whether that author is truly capable of more than one novel – some writers are simply one-hit-wonders.

Change is afoot

So, despite every instinct in me from my professional side to present the complete picture, I am pulling everything but the merest hint of hoping to write a series, focusing on the first book as something that will stand alone if it must.

In addition, I am trying a series of query letters rather than full submissions. If I cannot get some interest in the core idea in the first place, there’s little point in the cost and effort of sending a full synopsis and manuscript sample.

Targets have been designated, so watch this space for news of more rejections once I have them!

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Listen right here

What’s in this episode:

No espresso for you
It looks suspiciously like my Zoom H4 is no longer functioning, so you’ll have to go and listen to your own coffee machine.

Living in Spain
Last week’s vacation confirmed where our hearts and ambitions truly lie, in Dénia on the Costa Blanca, South Eastern Spain. Plans are afoot to get us there in the next few years, so watch this space for more updates as we (hopefully) get closer to our dream.

Fitness and bike gadgets
The old bike is off to someone else and the new bike is up and pedalling! The geeky side of cycling returns with a heart rate monitor and pace/cadence monitor to optimise the time I spend trying to get fit, and also to keep me in the safe zone. I discovered I was less than safe when pushing myself on solo rides.
Garmin Speed/Cadence Sensor For the Forerunner/Edge
Garmin Forerunner 50 Sports Watch with Wireless Sync & Personal Heart Rate Monitor

Nostalgia on the iPhone
Alongside modern applications such as GPS route tracker RunKeeper, I have been travelling back in time to the good old Amiga days playing the very faithful Pinball Dreams (iTunes Store link). With the appearance of classic – and huge – Mac puzzle and adventure game Myst (iTunes Store link), could we have a whole new dimension to the iPhone applications for us old geezers?

Support MinorTechnicality by using these products:
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Get 10% off your online petmeds from Petmeds.com
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MTECH1 – 10% off almost any order
MTECH2 – 20% off any order over 50USD
MTECH330 – 30% off .com domain names, including renewals.
These codes can be used as much as you like, and do not have expiry dates. Save them, keep them, use them!

Minor technicality is the personal audio podcast journal of Neil Dixon.
Keep up to date at minortechnicality.mevio.com
Grab each episode via RSS

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