Sunday telesales should be banned

Published by neil on November 16th, 2009 4 Comments »

Telesales? On a Sunday morning? Surely it can’t be legal – at least it shouldn’t be.

A couple of years ago we stayed in a Radisson in Malta and in exchange for free food vouchers we were given “the tour” of the thoroughly splendid complex and a brief sale pitch regarding time-shares. We were also given a voucher for a free week’s holiday – you know, one of those weeks where the time-share company bombards you to part with a large chunk of hard-earned dosh. Fast forward to…

Sunday November 8

We are oft to spend lazy Sunday mornings on the sofa, heckling stupid people on the television*. This Sunday’s particularly enjoyable heckling was frustratingly disturbed by a telesales call.

The company who gave us the “free super-super amazing holiday for absolutely free during which we are totally not going to hard sell you up the rear for a week” voucher, called to find out why we had not used their “super-duper free holiday…” you get the picture.

After several exchanges along the lines of:

ME: We haven’t had time to use it.
HIM: You mean you don’t have time to go on holiday?
ME: Yes, but not any additional weeks like this.
HIM: You’re not going on holiday?
ME: Not on this voucher, no.
…etc.

Telesales guy gets the idea that I am a no-hope sale, we exchange pleasantries (with undertones of “please go away, it’s Sunday”) and the heckling resumes.

Sunday November 15

Mid-morning an “international” number calls. Now this is not uncommon as it might be related to my work, or – more likely on a Sunday morning – jEN’s family. (I am working from memory a good few hours later, so the words may not be exact.)

ME: Hello?
SHE: Can I speak to Mr or Mrs Dixon?
ME: That’s me. (I am guessing she did not assume I was both)
SHE: Over a year ago you took a holiday in Malta…
ME: Oh, hold on, I had one of these calls last Sunday.
SHE: What about?
ME: A follow-up from our holiday in Malta.
SHE: What about your holiday in Malta?
ME (my Sunday morning, less than sharp mind starts to question that I might be mistaken): Why don’t you tell me about why you have called.
SHE: Yes, why don’t I do that.
ME: Erm… OK.
SHE: Yes, because that’s my job after all.
ME: Erm… Hold on a second, you’re ringing me up, for the second time, disturbing my Sunday morning and you’re telling me…
SHE: Click, brrrrrrrrr….
(OK, so there was no “brrrrrrrrr”, but a solitary “click” lacks the drama.)

What a terrific way to put me in a receptive mindset to eagerly accept the following sales pitch. I hoped the exchange had been recorded, but I doubt it. Now if only I can find that lovely holiday voucher so I can discover who this company is. Or perhaps I just have to wait a week.

*Having consumed most of the recorded and Sunday morning programming containing stupid people, we have recently switched to heckling various “Top 40 Countdown” programmes, particularly abusing artists and songs who use vocoders to mask their lack of singing talent – sorry, I meant to say, use vocoders as a unique form of vocal styling.

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Photograph by alexkerhead4 Comments »