Top five signs it’s a New Year*
Published by on January 3rd, 2006
| 10. | My waste bin is full of torn-up cheques because I write dates on autopilot and he’s not yet been trained in 2006 writing skills. |
| 9. | I can get mince pies for less than half price** |
| 8. | The decaying carcasses of dead Christmas trees litter every corner. |
| 7. | I feel bad because I haven’t booked my summer holiday in the sun. |
| 6. | I feel this odd urge to lose weight and get a new job. |
| 5. | I can build a radio controlled BMW with a £5.99 weekly partwork. The first one (just 50p) contains a wheel. |
| 4. | The purple glass recycling bin downstairs is overflowing with booze bottles (even more-so than normal). |
| 3. | I keep thinking I have deja vue when I turn on Sky News and all I see is repeats. |
| 2. | My email inbox is filled with subjects along the lines of “Happy New Year” but content along the lines of “Why the f**k haven’t you worked all through Christmas and magically produced the website I haven’t told you I need yet.” |
| 1. | Cadburys have started advertising Cream Eggs again. |
*Yes, I know there’s actually ten, I just got carried away.
**Except at Costa coffee where the special edition Christmas mince pie is still £1.60 eat in.
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